I was talking to my advisor yesterday, trying to get my defense scheduled for the beginning of November, where it belongs. You see, you can’t wait until the end of November, because that’s basically Thanksgiving, and then after that the semester is pretty much over and there isn’t any wiggle room for screw ups or dbag committee members bitching about commas. Right, so, first half of November is defense season, at least at this grad school. We email out to all my committee members, thinking this should be easy, as only two of them are professors with pesky teaching schedules – the other three work at federal agencies, and oh let me tell you, their days consist of staring at their computer screens (most likely Stumbling Upon things) and pushing paper.
Well, Dr. Moldy gets back and says he can do it either October 19th, or if we must, November 2nd – he will be out of town for the rest of the god damn semester. I immediately start hyperventilating, because none of my other committee members are available on Nov.2, because because, oh yeah! Dr. Moldy ass face is only available for three hours each of those TWO days he deigns to be available for the entire freakin semester.
What about Oct.19, Susie? It’s ok, everyone can do it that day!
….. but jesus, I don’t know if I can! That means, I have to turn my full dissertation into my adviser in three weeks. Because he has to edit it, I have to fix it, then I have to get it to my committee members by Oct.2, so they have two weeks to read it, make edits and meet with me about them, and then I have to fix the edits, and oh yeah make a presentation, and find some freakin xanax because oh my holy hell I am going to spend the next two months losing my damn mind.
Because because because – I also have to, oh, I don’t know – get married? In three weeks? Like, my rehearsal dinner is a couple hours after my dissertation has to be turned into my adviser. Because back in March when we were planning it, we (all of us, not just this idiot, because I took a damn poll of family, friends, and academic advisers) thought that the end of September would keep it from interfering too badly with my defense. Hah. HAha haha.
What a day to be out of gin.
*I’m going to have to get a new theme for my post titles. I guess I’ll worry about that in November.