I am out of my groove, in so many ways, so let’s try some quick(ish) takes.
1. Hazel update: 10 months and change. We sleep trained her shortly after my last post, and kicked the swaddle to the curb. She had a monster of a sleep regression that was killllliiinng us (me, specifically), and we just hit a wall. We weren’t comfortable letting her rage in her bassinet, because it was a bit too small at that point, and we weren’t comfortable letting her rage swaddled on her floor bed (crib mattress, sans crib), because… I don’t know, I had some wacky notion about her glow worming off halfway and getting stuck and positional asphyxiation, and look. I never said I was logical about things other than toxicology, ok? Anyways, we took her swaddle and plunked her on her floor bed. We were intending to do some nice Ferber training, but it wasn’t working, and we were both SO EXHAUSTED, and well… Weisbluth. It wasn’t pretty, but she was fed and dry and safe and, ok, mad, but it WORKED. The first night was awful, the second night was better, and third night was glorious. AND she naps now! Like real actual PREDICTABLE naps. We can even put her down awake for naps. Magic!
Of course, since then, a lot of work travel etc. has completely hosed everything, so we need to do it again (SHUDDER), but it’s still so much better. She is back to waking up ~3 times a night. Kevin is actually giving her bottles and dealing with most wake ups, so things are on the up and up. For me. Kind of.
2. That leads me to… weaning? Yes/no/maybe? I want to, oh yes I do. I had a bunch of work travel in the past month, and more coming up, and I dragged the stupid pump with me, and excused myself from meetings, and got in a fight with this terrifying old lady running coat check, but lo, my supply still tanked. I got it back up to something resembling useful eventually, with liberal application of domperidone, but … gah. I am trying to decide whether to just wean her completely and be done with it, or see if we can hang where are are. She was happily nursing about 4x a day before my travel and it was nice, but now it’s like 3x a day, plus some slapping because the buffet is subpar, and then also lets wake up a bunch in the night to see if more food arrived yet. LAME FOR EVERYONE. Kevin has been giving her bottles sometimes when I’m just done, and that seems to make things worse in the supply department (DUH). Anyways, we are stepping up what she gets while I’m at work to see if we can cut out the middle of the night snacks.
3. Other Hazel stuff: Not yet walking, but cruising easily, and often standing unsupported so she can play with stuff. Since she isn’t nine months old like her insane sister was, I am perfectly ok with her starting to walk whenever she wants. Ten months is apparently my personal threshold for “reasonable age to start walking,” though I do think we still have some time. She continues to seem very verbally attuned – she signs pretty well (milk, more, all done, bye bye, pointing at stuff, working on some others), and can point to her nose, and do some other little tricks, and attempts to parrot all our talking. Her love of music and uncontrollable dancing seems to have abated, which is a bummer. Her love of food, on the other hand, has only grown – loves to eat. Other likes: reading books, pulling hair, sticking her tongue out, clapping for herself, absconding with crayons to eat. Dislikes: minor injuries, long waits at the buffet, when I leave the room.
4. Eliza update: I’m kicking myself for not writing some lovey dovey blog post about her the past few months, because she was being a DELIGHT, and now those days are past. She just hit 2.5, and oof. The bad: impressive temper tantrums, kicking her door every night when we put her to bed, whining, breaking rules she’s been cool with for ages, taking toys from Hazel, hitting Hazel when she cries, etc. etc. You know, normal two stuff. It’s not a big deal at all, she was just being SO LOVELY for a few months straight, and we got soft. It’s not all bad though, of course. She is talking up a storm, and she has a great imagination, and she’s so busy. She loves to pretend to make food (strawberry pancakes! vegetables!) in the oven (her cabinet), and feed it to her stuffed animals. She packs up her backpack and heads off to work, which is apparently in the foyer. She is obsessed with Frozen, like every toddler in the nation, and we catch her singing the songs to herself sometimes. She just started swimming lessons last week, big girl ones where I just sit on the side and watch, and oh. She’s so BIG and so little, all at once.
5. I tried playing frisbee a little bit a few weeks back, and UGH. My ankle has felt pretty great since I got a cortisone shot, back around Halloween, but I have been taking it easy. I played about three points before it started hurting, at which point I sat my ass down. It hurt for a couple of days afterwards, and I haven’t pushed it since. I’m trying to come to terms with maybe being done. It’s going… not great. I’ve been a huge grump about going to the gym basically since I messed up my ankle – because instead of it being cross training to keep me in good form for sports, it’s just… exercise. BORING. (for me.) I’ve also been a huge jerk about Kevin playing sports, because I don’t get to. So like, last week he went to play soccer one night after work, and I was all pissy about doing the dinner and bedtime gauntlet alooone while he was off running like some kind of uninjured jerk. Real mature, Susie. SO then he texts me and says he got hit in the head, minor concussion, and my immediate reaction was to be wildly irritated about him being even later to get home, like, what, he did it on purpose? Susie. What.
So, obvs I need to work on that whole mess. I have intentions to take up masters swimming, but I’m dragging ass. Also have intentions to seek out additional medical opinions regarding my bum ankle, of course, but blaaah. Also, I am considering taking up bike riding, but I have a long history of head injuries from bicycles, and that was before my vision got hosed, soooo…?
6. Like the rest of the internet, I fell down the bullet journal rabbit hole a while back, and it’s wonderful. Jonna has said a number of times that she thinks it works well for her ADHD brain, and I think it’s true for my ADD brain, too. (Which, by the way, we were talking about this viral post with some friends recently, and it was so interesting to hear how other people’s brains work! That post was a reasonable description of mine. If your brain is a clean white board, I am JEALOUS.) At any rate, the enormous pile of post it notes in my office is much diminished. My bullet journal is evolving, still – I’ve added in traditional calendars next to my monthly pages, I’m working out a color code. I’ve got a bunch of collections that are jumbled messes, because… my brain is a jumbled mess. But I’ve landed on a bunch of good lists/collections, and I’m significantly less stressed and flakey than I was six months ago. Though, uh, I still have some work to do. I also have a shiny new purple moleskine waiting for me, once I’ve got my system fully worked out, because we all know the magic’s in the moleskine.
7. Ok so, all that work travel? One of my trips was actually a job interview. That went really, really well. I mean, it was FUN, the whole day. I gave a kick ass seminar, and had a great time in almost every single one-on-one interview I had (which, there were… 15), as well as the three hour long dinner AFTER all the interviewing, which I suppose was ALSO part of the interview. The people were engaged, the science was interesting. Yeah, it was just a really good day. I’m not sure what will come of it. We both like our current jobs, and love the people we work with. The potential new job is in the Bay Area, which is so! expensive! and totally, mind blowingly COMPLEX compared to where we currently live. Tough decisions coming down the pipeline next month, but all the options are good, which is an excellent problem to have.