Turned my dissertation in to my committee a week ago today. Since then I have:
1. Hung out with my parents
2. Spent a weekend drinking excessively with frisbee friends in a secluded cabin in North GA
3. Became an Aunt! Woo baby time. This involved logging many hours in a hospital, and dealing with some forlorn cats at my bro’s house. Oh, and nibbling on adorable baby fingers.
4. Taught my advisor’s classes
So, despite being pretty damn busy… I’m curious to know why I feel like I’ve totally withdrawn from life for the past week. Maybe I’ve just been on mental vacation, or maybe it’s because I’ve been so absent from my house (and my roommates). Certainly it’s because Husband is gone, and that has an odd way of making it seem like it’s been one interminably long day since I dropped him off at the airport. I think that the next month (or two) will be an interesting mix. I don’t feel inclined to socialize in my town anymore – most of my network is a minimum of an hour away. And for some reason, SusieTime (i.e. me, alone in my room, generally watching something stupid on ABC family…) is increasingly important. Maybe I’m gearing myself up for the fact that, come January, it’s going to be mostly SusieTime for at least a while. But that seems silly – seems like I ought to be maximizing the fun?
Looking at my little list up there, though, I guess it seems like I am. I guess I’m just not as mentally present for all that as I could be. Because mentally, I’m all over the place – Atlanta, Washington, Savannah (hi!)… I haven’t been fully engaged in most of what I’ve done recently, because I’m always thinking of someone else who is somewhere else.
At any rate, the overarching feeling I’m left with after turning in the dissertation isn’t necessarily relief… it’s actually loss. That’s not quite right though. I guess I just feel kind of unmoored, not sure what to do with myself.
You know, since actually starting to work on my defense presentation hasn’t yet seemed necessary. Great plan, Susie! Let’s see what happens.