Caffeine Fallout

So, like I said, yesterday – way too much coffee.  I normally drink diet coke, maybe even a few cans a day, but I only drink coffee occasionally.  Coffee has about ten times as much caffeine as soda, and I tend to drink it like it’s a chore (get it over with!) rather than savoring the taste.  Point being – I get totally jazzed up, and then it’s like I’m on speed for a while.  Sometimes days.  This is one of those times.  I have been going a mile a minute since yesterday at 6:30 am.  Just constantly moving, fidgeting, mentally running through lists and lists.  I’ve been super productive, and sometimes I think about doing this on purpose semi-regularly, to take advantage – except that it makes me feel shaky, and it makes my anxiety shoot through the roof.  So, that’s a no go.  Instead I just do it every time I forget how crappy I feel.  MENTAL NOTE, IDIOT!

Anyhow, I still feel spastic today, but totally killed it at work.  I got so much done.  And now?  Now we are going to the county fair!  To watch a goat milking competition.  No shit.  So, obviously, that means I will have things to put on the ol’ blog later.  But for now, a story from yesterday….


Right so when I got my coffee yesterday, a hilarious thing happened.  This dude had been tailgating me for maybe 5 or 10 miles of my commute.  This is a small town, and the traffic is generally all headed to the same place – the lab – so tailgating seems pretty dumb, to me.  I mean, traffic moves god-awful slow, but come on…  not smart.  So he’s tailgating me, even though I’m going 5 over as much as traffic permits.  Then I get to the coffee joint and start to move into the turn lane (using my signal, of course!).  He WHIPS around me, accelerates into the turn lane and speeds into the parking lot.  I mosey in (elevated heart rate and all), and walk casually in the door after him.  He looks all agitated, so of course (OF COURSE) I say something.  “Sucks when the person you’ve been pointlessly tailgating for 10 minutes is going the same place as you, huh?”

He responds with “Learn how to drive, bitch!”, at which I laugh.

So then we proceed to hang out next to each other in line for 10 minutes (rush hour at a coffee joint!).  Here’s the rest of our conversation:

“What would you have had me do differently?  You know, to drive better?”

(sputtering) “You were going 10 under the speed limit!”

“No, I was going 40, except when pulling into red lights.  Then, you know, I slowed down, as one does…”

“There was too much space between you and the cars in front of you”

“Oh, you mean the ones that were stopped?  At the red lights?”

“Whatever bitch, learn how to drive”

“I hope you wreck you car.  Have a lovely day!”




I do love awkward.  I also love how this was probably the funniest thing that has happened to me in a month, and it likely ruined his day (and I maintain that he would have been totally aggro even if I hadn’t said anything to him).  My karma might have suffered, but I’m not sure.

It just seems so fraught to tailgate, or be rage-y in public in a town this small.  The walls have ears, here.  The person at whom you choose to direct your ire?  She works at the lab, in a senior position.  He’s the husband / brother / son of one of your co-workers.  She lives down the street.  Small town.  Don’t be dumb!

This entry was posted in tales from the city. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Caffeine Fallout

  1. Jess says:

    Unbelievable! I can’t believe he responded that way. What a jerk!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>