Momentum

October is going to be – already is, really – insane. A lot of travel for our family in whole and in part (at least one of us is out of town for 19 of 31 days this month), a lot of big work deadlines, many of which are make or break it for me. Family stuff, big milestones – Bear turns one next Sunday, which I’m in some denial about. If I ignore it, it won’t happen, right? Honestly, that’s been my approach with a lot of my life lately. Head in the sand makes the world stop turning – the deadlines won’t pass, the baby won’t age, winter won’t get any closer.

As a result, I’ve sort of been floating along, letting momentum carry me. Not really actively steering this boat. It’s… not my favorite. I feel like I’m not trying hard enough. No, that’s not right – I am working my butt off, at home and at work and in my personal relationships. It’s that I don’t feel like I am doing things with intention. I only have time and wherewithal to react as things are happening, rather than to be proactive, or to set the tone or course myself. I’m just treading water, instead of trying to figure out how to get out of the ocean and… onto a boat or something. I don’t know, I’m a scientist, metaphor isn’t really my thing.

I’ve been mulling this over in spare moments for a few months now. Longer, probably, I mean I used to have monthly intentions/goals, just for fun, but really fell off the rails with that when I got pregnant with Eliza. I’ve been meaning to get back to it, but goal setting hasn’t even really made it near (not to mention on to) my to do list lately. I know I’ll be more productive and happier and million things if I make time for that, but there are SO MANY other things I want to do in my limited spare time that I’m getting distracted by. And I find myself wasting time on little internal arguments I settled long ago – like, should I mop the floor and vacuum and meal plan this weekend, or should we go camping? Simple – CAMPING. Duh. Why am I fretting about this?

So, whatever, I need to make some lists. And get my shit together, prioritzed. And make a dentist appointment. And get my hair cut. And finish a few papers, and some blog posts, and that photo book for E’s first year.

—–

Ok, here is what’s really important: videos of my kid and my cat.

First, when you ask Eliza where her belly is, she flaps her arms like a chicken. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Belly

Next, Eliza is learning about animals: What do you say?

And finally, Kevin and I think it’s hilarious when Alfalfa enters or exits Eliza’s room. He sort of hovers over the baby gate. I really wish I could make this into an animated gif without exerting any effort, because I think that’d be better, but here are videos: Alfalfa arrives and Alfalfa departs.

[I don't know how to embed these properly on a wordpress.org blog - if anyone is inclined to help me do it, I'd love you forever. I'm guessing it's a plug in, and I'm guessing google could tell me, but it's well past my bed time, so.]

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7 Responses to Momentum

  1. HereWeGoAJen says:

    To embed a video on WordPress, I usually upload to YouTube and then just use the embed feature to grab the code to put right into the html. Or, I think you can upload a video just like you upload a picture. But I don’t do it that way. :)

    Good grief, your kid is cute. It’s really unfair to most of the other kids in the world.

  2. K says:

    Sometimes I have periods—days, weeks, sometimes months–where it just feels like I’m dog-paddling to nowhere. Feeling like there I things I want to do and need to do, but mostly just don’t quite have the energy to tackle them right now. Sometimes having the momentum of life just carry me along gives my brain and body some quiet time to rest and perk up later.

  3. Megan says:

    I enjoy your kid so much. I want to hang out with her. And I guess it would be ok if you were there too.

  4. Erica says:

    I’m just using you as a barometer as to how panicked I will SOON BE regarding my baby’s rapid aging.

  5. Jesabes says:

    Our cat can also leap over gates, yet she usually chooses to sit there and whine until we open it for her. It’s not annoying AT ALL.

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