Lighter Fare

Ok, I didn’t mean to leave the downer post up for that long, so let’s move along. Some people asked me why my fetus’ has been dubbed Spatula. Not just Spatula, even, but Spatula II. Well, what had happened was, a long time ago (200..5?), I was having dinner with my parents, my brother, and his fiance. Somehow, the subject of offspring came up, and my brother and I made a bet on who would procreate first. Seems like a dumb bet – obviously he’d win, since he was about to get married. BUT WAIT. The winner was actually the one who remained child free the longest. The stakes? If J lost (the obvious outcome!), he’d have to be my financial planner for life, free of charge or whining. If I somehow lost, he could name my kid. I was pretty confident that was impossible, considering I was dating a jerk and planning on having kids approximately never in my life. I thought little of the potential names we all laughed over that evening, and even served up my own suggestion to illustrate how fine I was with the stakes: Spatula.

Well, I did win the bet – my nephew Hank was born in 2009 – but I lost the war. Johnny totally whined about helping me with my first ever investments, AND when I got pregnant in 2011, Spatula was the first name on everyone’s minds. Ok, that’s not exactly fair. I actually announced the pregnancy to my family by texting a picture of a spatula with no explanation. I even have a little spatula necklace (that I never wear, but I have it!). Also, my nephew was dubbed Broccoli in utero, so I guess we are even. J’s second kiddo was also announced through a picture of some broccoli florets, so this joke will evidently continue for some time, and I’m totally fine with that.


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10 Responses to Lighter Fare

  1. HereWeGoAJen says:

    I think Spatula might be one of my favorite in utero baby names ever.

  2. april says:

    My friend’s son was named in utero by her daughter, and they called him Race Car … well, he’s five and they still call him Race Car. It seems to me that we didn’t have a good in utero name for either of the boys.

  3. Elsha says:

    This story is awesome. And now I kinda want to send you spatula things.

    • snoozical says:

      I think I paid like $10 for that (used!) spatula board book, because it was the ONLY thing I could find like that in amazon.

  4. Jessica says:

    Jacob came up with a nickname for the baby almost as soon as we told him there was going to a baby in a few months. He called her Elise the Police and he still introduces her as such, but now he adds her middle name. Elise the Police Bonnie.

  5. Jesabes says:

    That’s cute! I love the announcement in-jokes.

  6. Carmen says:

    The baby announcement is awesome. Did everyone immediately get it? I love stories like that. I wish I had a cute Spatula story. We called our first baby Lulubelle in utero (we didn’t find out the sex); my mom was asking about names and commented that we’d probably pick some horrible name for our baby that used to be used for cows or something. Like Bessie. Or Lulubelle. And Lulubelle stuck. Even after he was born, I slipped and called him Lulubelle sometimes. Only for the first few weeks, thankfully.

    As soon as we found out we were pregnant that first time, I emailed our families right away with a one line message: “ETA: March 26, 2006″. Pretty vague, but I thought my mom, the one desperate for grandbabies, would figure it out quickly. Nope. I think I had to phone and talk her through it. I was surprised.

    When I was pregnant with Lexi, I decided not to tell the grandparents right away like last time, because they sucked at keeping it a secret until I was ready to tell people. But then I got a horrible lung infection and could barely walk or breathe, and Mom kept haranguing me about taking all kinds of drugs, and just wouldn’t let it go that I didn’t want to. I finally lost it and ended up shouting at her “I can’t because I’m pregnant, okay!!!”, which is not the happy announcement I’d wanted. Thankfully, she doesn’t even remember that. Whew.

  7. I love that there is a board book about spatulas.

  8. Yay, that’s so hilarious!
    Seriously… Spatula?

    ♥ Junalin – Doula

  9. Pingback: Naming Showdown! But less dramatic. » snoozical

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