So we made it through a month (and a day), and we are all still happy and alive. Well, mostly. Eliza is a little peeved, at times, but who can blame her? And Hazel can’t really smile yet, but if she could, I bet she would.
Hazel is, of course, still a mysterious newborn for the most part. Kevin and I like to make conjectures about her personality, but it’s all guesswork and projection. What we know so far boils down to this: she is a harder baby than her sister. She wants to be held all the time – which is equal parts delightful and challenging. She has to be enticed into sleeping. She won’t take a bottle without a fight, and you can’t fight hard enough to get her to drink formula. She will barf all over you the second you let your guard (burp cloth) down. She also makes the sweetest cooing noises, and snuggles into you in a way that makes you want to sit on the couch and stare at her for hours.
I feel more attached to her than I did to Eliza at this point. Am I allowed to say that? Is that one of those things my kid will read in twenty years and hate me for (as I narcissistically assume my kid will give two shits what I wrote on my weblog at the beginning of the century)? Well, it’s true. There are rational explanations for this – Eliza wouldn’t or couldn’t nurse, so I spent far more time with my breast pump than I did with her. Eliza preferred to be put down to sleep, both at night and during the day. Eliza was very mild from day one – she fussed a bit in the evenings, but would quiet down immediately if you walked her around a little, or swaddled her nice and tight.
Hazel requires more… finesse. She seems to have a calm and sweet temperament, but is perhaps a little less laid back (if I may make such claims about a one month old’s personality). She cries more, and with more urgency. She needs to be held and jiggled just so. She really doesn’t want us to sit down or stop walking. She wants to nurse and nurse and nurse but can’t keep the milk down, and seems distressed and uncomfortable until it comes back up (invariably right down my shirt, moments after the burp cloth shifted out of the way).
I’m actually thinking she might have reflux, since a lot of her fussiness etc. wasn’t evident from the get go. At first, she was utterly calm and didn’t really cry at all, though she certainly preferred to sleep on me rather than in a crib. She started getting fussier and spitting up more and wanting to be held upright more around two weeks, and it’s progressed. I think. It’s hard to say. I got a zantac Rx for her last week, but I don’t think it is helping much – though again, it’s hard to say because it’s hard to get her to take the medicine consistently (she haaaaates it). Our pediatrician was skeptical, because she is gaining weight fine, but let us try the medicine. I might ask to switch to prevacid when we go in for her one month appointment this week. I keep talking myself into and out of thinking it’s reflux, versus her just being a normal baby. (Eliza was emphatically not normal, in terms of how easy she was, a fact we were aware of all along and take no credit for – but her being abnormally easy doesn’t mean we know what normal is like.)
That aside, we are enjoying our embiggened family quite a bit. Eliza seems to be adjusting fairly well – she likes to “be nice” to her baby sister (pet her head) and point out all her little parts (“head? arm? piggies?”), and she also likes to whine like nobody’s business the second I start nursing the baby. So I’d say that’s about par for the course for a toddler. I have ALL the respect for people who can manage a newborn and a toddler all by their lonesome – I had family around helping run interference till less than a week ago, and I would have lost my mind without them. I mean, what do you do when the toddler charges you while you’re nursing the relatively fragile newborn? (Answer: push her over. Gently. Ish.)
I have more to say, but no time to say it.
We went to Seattle last weekend for a frisbee tournament, and it was great. I wish I could have played more, but my ankle is still pretty hosed and Hazel and Eliza were hard to wrangle in a giant field in the hot sun.
Nursing is going so, so much better this time around. I have a lot of thoughts on that, likely of no importance to anyone but past and future me.
I have thoughts about maternity leave – having one, this go round, and the ways that’s easier AND harder.
And oh goodness, exercise and baby weight and cookies. Yep. Maybe I’ll have time soon. I miss you, internet.