Panic!

Ok, so as I might have mentioned, I am sort of intensely busy.  I am getting married in just over a month, writing my dissertation which needs to be handed in approximately two weeks after the wedding, which also happens to be when my first niece or nephew is due to exit from my sister-in-law.  Additionally, I play on a competitive ultimate team which has three weekend-long tournaments and several weekend-long practices between now and the beginning of October, all between 1.5 and 5 hours from where I live.  I am moving across the country in January, and am trying to maximize Fun Time with my friends and family who I may never see again ever (insert melodramatic music here).  So far, I have managed not to freak out, but I am starting to feel the tentacles of all-consuming panic pulling my feet towards an ocean of crazy.

This morning, my dear, dear fiance, under duress, admitted he had finally gotten in touch with our officiant, Officiant.  He is a friend from Fiance’s childhood, whom I do not know – I have met him once, and heard many stories, but we are not close ourselves.  For the last five months, I have been under the impression that I needn’t worry about the ceremony – Officiant has a plan, he has ideas, sure, Fiance will call him and get some details, sure, sure.  So I threw that issue on the back burner and focused on getting all the other little duckies in neat little rows, and occasionally nagged Fiance about calling.  This morning, I learn that Officiant has no plan.  In the last wedding he performed for friends, the neurotic bride (O, to be that sort of neurotic bride!) handed him his lines, which he embellished and made his own in small ways, but he originated none of the ceremony ideas.

I have not a damn clue what I want in our wedding ceremony.  Fiance will be of no help, unless I want an oral delineation of a computer program that will cause a robot to ramble about the hall, greeting the guests.  We know that there will not be any religion in the ceremony, but that’s really it.  I suppose it would be nice for someone to say something about how Fiance and I have a deep, special love, that is like … something strong and enduring.  Like rocks, or time.  I am not a poet, I am a scientist.  I have the vague notion that it would be lovely for someone to read something, but I don’t know what they ought to read, and how does one pull a meaningful passage out the ether if one has the memory of a goldfish?  I have read so many lovely things, but…. what were they?  Oh dear…

I wish that someone had the answers for this one.  I wish I could better vocalize what we all know, that we’ve got something special.  I wish it didn’t all sound so trite when you write it down.

this man

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