Last month wiped me OUT, man. I mean, it was fantastic, we traveled a lot and had a lot of fun. But also: plague and pestilence, and not a lot of sleep. Hoping things will settle down now!
Hazel is four months old as of Sunday, so here’s a recap of mundane details only future me will care about.
By three months, Hazel chilled out a LOT. She is still more sensitive than her sister – startles easily, and will wail loudly at very loud noises or minor physical insults – but she is pretty easy to soothe. It’s kind of really cute when she gets upset, too, and not just a little ridiculous. Her face just CRUMBLES and she makes this indignant wailing sound like when you sit on the cat. And then: SNUGGLE TIME.
Her bed time has been moving earlier and earlier. Up until three months, we were having to force her to sleep by putting her in the Beco and walking her around the neighborhood until she passed out against her will. Then I’d dream feed her, swaddle her up, and plunk her in her bassinet. That whole process took till about 11 pm, which is still well past my bedtime. I’d have to take a nap before her dream feed at least half the time, so Kevin would stay up past 11 with her so I could catch a useful amount of sleep. After we got back from Denver a few weeks ago, we stopped doing the walk and her bed time has moved back slowly to 8 or 9 pm, which is LOVELY. Sometimes I can even stay up for like half an hour after she goes to bed! FREEDOM!
She has been sleeping longer stretches more consistently as well. Sometimes she will go all the way till 5-7 am, sometimes she gets up a few times to eat. She has always busted her swaddle by the time she decides she’s hungry. (Or maybe she decides she’s hungry once she’s busted her swaddle? Chicken/egg ahhhh!)
She doesn’t nap that well for us, but our nanny can get her down most days for an hour or two. For me, she falls asleep nursing and takes cat naps for 10-20 min a few times a day. She will wake the second I try to move her, though, and normally wants to eat again after 30 – 60 min. So when I am home in the afternoons and on the weekends, it is pretty tough for me to get anything at all done. Hazel wants to be at the buffet, and Eliza basically stands on my legs piling up her toys and books. It’s…. relaxing. Also productive. Yep. It’s obviously better when Kevin is also home, because Eliza will play with him or he can get stuff done while she smothers me.
This kind of makes breastfeeding jail sound kind of terrible, and it really isn’t. It’s easy to take Hazel anywhere and I don’t have to take anything with me. I can count on her being pretty easy and laid back all the time, as long as my boobs are with me. She will eat less frequently if she has to – like when I’m at work or other people are playing with her. It’s kind of like how I am with diet coke. If It’s available, I will drink it all the live long day. If I had to hang out next to a fountain machine all day long and not drink it? Haaa. Yeah right.
She is getting better at taking bottles while I am at work, too, though Kevin still can’t give her one. He doesn’t have the opportunity to practice very much, though, so I’m not surprised. I’m not that worried about it now, though – I don’t have to travel for work for months, and it’s coming up on fall/winter when the shorter days have us staying home a lot more anyways, so it’s just not a huge deal. It is going to fly by. It already IS flying by. I feel like the hardest part is definitely over.
As of the past week or so, Hazel is wanting to spend more time playing, so I’m sure it’ll shift soon, too. She likes her exersaucer a lot – she actually plays with all the peripheral toys on it, too. Eliza never gave them the time of day. Hazel puts everything in her mouth and gnaws on stuff delightedly, rivers of drool streaming out of her mouth all the livelong day. We are using a lot of bibs this time around, or the poor thing is just soaking wet all the time.
While we were in Denver (Oh, we went to Denver! Kevin had a business trip, so we went, and stayed with Jess, and it was the BEST EVER except for the one night when Eliza woke up for the day at 2:17 AM OMFG). I had the startling realization that while yes, Hazel is a very smiley baby, she was actually specifically smiley for ME. I got the biggest grins by a long shot. Totally blew my mind, and then that started to change almost right after I realized it. Now? Eliza is her favorite person. She loves to watch her, and if Eliza says much of anything to or near her, Hazel starts cracking up. It’s the best. Eliza is just starting to notice this, so she isn’t really playing into it deliberately yet, but I’m sure that’ll come along shortly. I can’t wait.
What else? We’ll need to move her out of her bassinet sometime in the next month or two, and I think we’re just going to put her in a pack and play, also in the guest room. We eventually want to put the girls in the same room, but it seems like you don’t do that till later unless you have to. But when is later? I’m sure, like with most things, I’ll fret and fret about this and then figure it out without too much trouble once the time is right. That’s a lesson I’ll be learning over and over again until my children are grown, I’m sure.
Notes on post-partum Susie, for future Susie: my hair started falling out in gobs about a week ago. I vaguely remember it starting around five months last time, or coinciding with weaning, and I have no recollection of how long it lasted. I HATE IT MAKE IT STOP AHHH. Ahem. Also, the last couple of weeks, I feel mostly normal, body wise. Like, I don’t spend all day feeling uncomfortable in my skin. This is not to say that I am back to my pre-Hazel body, oh no, not at all. Just that I have reached a point of being relatively comfortable, and I have some clothes that fit ok, and I’m not constantly worrying about how I look/feel. I think this is a combo effect of losing some of the baby weight, redistributing stuff, and also being a little better rested so my brain isn’t hamster wheeling all day long about stupid shit. I *think* I reached this point faster with Eliza, but I lost a bunch of weight without trying at all after her, so whatever, past Susie. I have more thoughts about this but odds are I will never, ever, ever have a spare moment to elaborate, and also only future Susie probably cares so now I hush. (That is, until I spit out a bunch of nostalgic crap about Eliza turning TWO, which she did on Monday without my permission.)