I got two fillings today at the dentist. I seem to be accruing fillings at about a rate of two or three per year, lately, which is terrible, because I also have increasing dentist anxiety. I have bad dreams from time to time about all my teeth falling out, only I have orders of magnitude more teeth than humans actually do, and they just stream out of my mouth. I can’t think too hard about teeth, my own or my kids – Kevin is definitely in charge of all that nonsense, the kids losing their baby teeth, the tooth fairy (shudder). Because I can’t turn my ears off, I have heard terrible stories about kids getting their adult teeth before their baby teeth fall out, so it’s like they are sharks with multiple rows and oh my god why am I talking about this? Seriously, on the way to work this morning I asked Kevin if crowns were like fillings for your whole tooth, and he started explaining it, and I had to ask him to stop talking because I was getting so skeeved out. I think my worst nightmare would be getting a gum graft. Or maybe veneers – don’t they have to drill your teeth down to tiny nubbins oh god I’m getting woozy why can’t I stop talking about this

Right, so I went to the dentist and got some fillings. This time, because I am not pregnant (I was the last two times I went), I was able to have something to take the edge off. However, because I’m nursing, I couldn’t have anything GOOD. So, nitrous oxide. It helped a little, BUT, I had a super inept hygienist helping out the dentist, so that un-helped by a similar margin. She kept ramming the suction thing into my mouth parts really hard, and then when the dentist was basically done, she noticed that the hygienist hadn’t cured one of the fillings – she basically did the same one twice – so they had to put all the forms and stuff back in and blah blah more tools and pliers and oh god it’s all so terrible.

The dentist and I were discussing anesthetics and anxiety drugs and pharmacokinetics and so forth before she started rooting around in my mouth, and the conversation necessarily became completely one sided once she got to work. It was interesting, because I’m naturally an interrupter, and of course I couldn’t say anything at all, just had to listen. Also, even though I talk a lot, I am not good at soliloquies, which dentistry seems to demand.

Anyways, I can’t re-read this because it’ll make me insane, so I’m sorry for you guys if it’s terrible and disjointed but I’m hoping now I can forget all about it. Except half of my face is still numb.

Do you have any irrational fears or anxieties?

This entry was posted in ephemera, Me me me, neuroses. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Chompers

  1. Erica says:

    Eyeballs eyeballs eyeballs so important so vulnerable aaaauuuuugh.

  2. Jesabes says:

    Dude, I’ve been getting a crown every year (three years running already and last visit my dentist said to put 2014 on the books!) and I am TOTALLY paranoid about being toothless by the time I’m a grandmother. The only thing that makes me feel a *little* better is my dad has crap teeth, too, and so far they’re at least still in his mouth.

  3. Elsha says:

    I hate the dentist SO much. Not a fear so much as just general avoidance. I’ve pretty much resigned myself to dentures. Also glasses because I’m with Erica, EYEBALLS.

  4. K says:

    Here’s a creepy tooth story for you:

    Ezra had a mildly loose tooth on the bottom this summer. One night, after bath, while drying his face off with the towel–the wonky tooth got snagged on one of the towel’s fabric-y loops and I ended up ripping that thing (by accident!) clean out of his mouth. I might have said, “OH SHIT!” out loud, but Ezra barely flinched and zero idea what happened. There maybe was some blood. I was happy I had Tooth Fairy cash in my wallet.

  5. Melissa says:

    I too hate the dentist. I think because I feel like they’re trying to swindle me out of my teeth and my money and also because I fear the potential pain of the procedures. I haven’t had a real cleaning in 10 years, I need to go. I went 5 years ago with my then Kindergartener and he counted my teeth and checked gum depth but said I needed to schedule a deep cleaning..which is why i was there. wtf dentist. So I gave up for awhile. Also, I suck at the tooth fairy, kudos to you for passing that to the husband. I have forgotten to make the swap TWO NIGHTS in a row…luckily my kids are suckers and bought whatever line I sold them as an excuse. Now I leave myself notes.

  6. Jessica says:

    Wait, I had a filling this year and I was still nursing but I don’t think there was anything special done for me. That’s a bit unsettling now, although we are fine!

    I have dreams that I need to put my contacts in to be able to see. However, they are the size of dinner plates. Somehow, I manage.

  7. Megan says:

    My front four teeth are all veneers and oh my god you would not believe the HELL I went through with those. I didn’t know they grind your teeth down to little posts. They sat me up and said ok let’s take a break. They didn’t tell me not to look at myself! I almost cried. I also maybe took pictures and sent them to people. And the temporary ones I had until the veneers came in were awful. I couldn’t bite into bread, sandwiches, corn, nothing. As the permanent ones healed, I could slowly start to eat with my front teeth. All of this lovely stuff, they cost me $4,000, AND they are too yellow. They said “oh no, it matches the rest of your teeth!” But if I’m paying that kind of money, they should have been WHITE. I’m not thrilled with them. They’re straight, but too yellow. Oh well. I’m gonna try to find the picture I took with my teeth posts and I’m going to add it to the E.T. pictures I keep on hand JUST for you!

  8. HereWeGoAJen says:

    I really need to go to the dentist as I haven’t been since we moved here. And Elizabeth was a wee baby that couldn’t even really talk yet then. Darn it.

  9. Curly Girl says:

    Wait, I JUST had a filling on Monday, and presumably got the good stuff, and no one asked me if I’m nursing or not (I AM!). Please tell me my baby isn’t going to grow a third arm or anything (though that would be sort of cool; he could carry more things around and maybe it would help reduce injuries when he falls down because he now has an extra arm to help break his fall).

    I used to thing the dentist was no big thang. After Monday, uh, not so pleasant anymore.

    • admin says:

      No third arms! You’re ok! If the good stuff was valium or similar (triazolam is a common one), it takes about a day, day and half for it to totally clear your system in some folks, and it definitely will get into your milk, but it isn’t a huge deal. The concern is more that it will make baby sleepy, and baby won’t eat much, as opposed to legit scary toxic effects or something.

      • says:

        Well phew, I guess. I probably should have asked for more, as the little shrimp still is up at least 3x a night, so I WOULD VERY MUCH like it if he was more sleepy than normal.

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