I got two fillings today at the dentist. I seem to be accruing fillings at about a rate of two or three per year, lately, which is terrible, because I also have increasing dentist anxiety. I have bad dreams from time to time about all my teeth falling out, only I have orders of magnitude more teeth than humans actually do, and they just stream out of my mouth. I can’t think too hard about teeth, my own or my kids – Kevin is definitely in charge of all that nonsense, the kids losing their baby teeth, the tooth fairy (shudder). Because I can’t turn my ears off, I have heard terrible stories about kids getting their adult teeth before their baby teeth fall out, so it’s like they are sharks with multiple rows and oh my god why am I talking about this? Seriously, on the way to work this morning I asked Kevin if crowns were like fillings for your whole tooth, and he started explaining it, and I had to ask him to stop talking because I was getting so skeeved out. I think my worst nightmare would be getting a gum graft. Or maybe veneers – don’t they have to drill your teeth down to tiny nubbins oh god I’m getting woozy why can’t I stop talking about this
Right, so I went to the dentist and got some fillings. This time, because I am not pregnant (I was the last two times I went), I was able to have something to take the edge off. However, because I’m nursing, I couldn’t have anything GOOD. So, nitrous oxide. It helped a little, BUT, I had a super inept hygienist helping out the dentist, so that un-helped by a similar margin. She kept ramming the suction thing into my mouth parts really hard, and then when the dentist was basically done, she noticed that the hygienist hadn’t cured one of the fillings – she basically did the same one twice – so they had to put all the forms and stuff back in and blah blah more tools and pliers and oh god it’s all so terrible.
The dentist and I were discussing anesthetics and anxiety drugs and pharmacokinetics and so forth before she started rooting around in my mouth, and the conversation necessarily became completely one sided once she got to work. It was interesting, because I’m naturally an interrupter, and of course I couldn’t say anything at all, just had to listen. Also, even though I talk a lot, I am not good at soliloquies, which dentistry seems to demand.
Anyways, I can’t re-read this because it’ll make me insane, so I’m sorry for you guys if it’s terrible and disjointed but I’m hoping now I can forget all about it. Except half of my face is still numb.
Do you have any irrational fears or anxieties?