I shamelessly stole this post idea from Miriel because hers made me chortle. Nonsense based on facebook statuses from Past Me.

I’ll be a whole bag of my three copies of East Coast New triple quad GCMS. With my presentation.
“Have GCMS, will travel” is probably a pretty solid way to get a job, actually.

winter just keeps puking on a plane thing.
Is this prophetic? Should I avoid planes until spring?

Extra ridiculous asd/vaccines bullshit without even engaging their straws have a test they do for this
I wish there were a test for that so I’d never have to engage again.

Did you come from? Why all at once? but calculus is football
More like football is butt calculus, am I right?

disagree, i’m a rockstar with interesting choice, nobel people.
One day, they will recognize my genius and popular appeal.

maybe scoobers and hucks aren’t the walk back to DC, you
Indeed, frisbee is not the best basis for moving there.

cannot believe we’ve only available room of toxicologists who have any drills.
Toxicologists aren’t known for being handy, but there you have it.

My ballot was to shut the hell away until ACTUAL spring here!
I would certainly cast a vote for hibernation. Stupid winter.

I don’t actually care, i use alcohol toxicity, etc.
Do as I say, not as I do.

But I really gets a bye in the South.
My manners just aren’t up to snuff, there especially.

Drinking wine, throwing corks, fun Friday
What could be better?

Eliza May be filled with the rain.
Get it? May be? Maybe? And it’s her middle name? No?

You’re such a good time despite dinner snafu
Some dates are just meant to end well.

Man, that accidental nap for summer league.
Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve slept through something.

It’s not inconsistent in my entire scientific progress.
Ever forward!

On what planet and in unvaccinated children. Meanwhile, I’d rather just get our acts together.
I’m sayin’.

Oh wait, I forgot about bear
Yeah right! I would never.

my kingdom for a better than yesterday!
It’s true, that post really wasn’t my best.

a blow torch will work something to sore throat in 15 minutes.
I don’t think it would take nearly that long.

dear internet, I lost probably the only one thing
My mind.

Haha yeah yeah we have the dinosaurs’ behavior, had it
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