Midnight Rambling 2.0

I’m back! And daily blogging means I can just do a today’s greatest hits, right? So!
I got to eat lunch with Kathleen today – she is totally lovely. This is perhaps the only time I will ever get so lucky as to have a twitter friend randomly pop up in my tiny nowhere town. Kathleen grew up here and was visiting friends and family. Hilariously, she currently lives in Atlanta, very near my brother. So we have an endless supply of common ground we laugh about – the contrast between airports! How delicious Publix subs are! Spudnuts! These things might seem trivial, but HOW DARE YOU CALL PUBLIX SUBS TRIVIAL. Ahem.

Anyway, we also talked about pregnancy and working out (that’s Kathleen’s wheelhouse, right there) and parenting and jobs and the best places to live and I don’t even know what else, but it was a delightful lunch that passed all too quickly.

After which I came home and did an exercise video. Jonna has mentioned her good experiences with a few exercise videos lately, and since its very hard for me to get to the gym right now, I decided to give it a whirl. I got Iron Core Kettlebell, and a 15 lb kettlebell. I really like it – it’s hard but not TOO hard, and kind of fun. And Sarah Lurie is not annoying, which is huge. I have a lot to learn on my technique (my wrists are bruised from the kettlebell smacking them) and also I have a LOT of ground to make up with my core muscles (obviously). But it feels great to be working on it. Recommend!

Then I made a twitter rec for dinner: creamy spaghetti bake (h/t Jen and Emily). I used half the recommended pasta, and zucchini “pasta” for the rest. I am in LOVE with this move – much healthier if you are into lower carbs but lurve pasta. It still tastes like a normal pasta dish, with a little extra crunch that I really like. Replacing 100% with zucchini is fine but no longer satisfies my pasta cravings. 50/50 is perfect – I actually prefer it to all pasta. So, try it! This julienne peeler makes it super easy to make the zucchini ribbons, and then you just throw it in with the already cooked pasta. Yum.

Ok that’s all. See you tomorrow?

Posted in ephemera | 3 Comments

Hazel Asterisk

I was really hoping that between maternity leave and cutting back to part time at work, I’d be able to keep up with this a bit better, but it turns out its actually easier to find quiet time to write in my secluded office than while nursing an infant and/or chasing a two year old. I’m sure you’re super shocked.

Let’s see though, I’m stuck with a nursing Hazel in a quiet room from midnight to 2 am every night, so perhaps I can pull this off one handed if I just give up entirely on narrative arc. I’m sure you’re also shocked that these are not my sharpest hours.

Hazel has changed enormously in the past few weeks. She is still challenging in many ways, but it is much less desperate. We switched her over to prevacid, and there was an immediate and stark improvement. She still spits up constantly and copiously, but she’s not unhappy about it. She is still a bit fussy and restless in the evenings, and much choosier about how we soothe her, but it is like night and day. Her fussiness peaked at about six weeks and has been diminishing rapidly since then.

The toughest things about her at this point are her sleep schedule, and her continuing, worsening aversion to bottles. Her natural sleepy time is about 1 or 2 am till 10 or 11 am, with 2-3 wake ups. My natural sleepy time is 9 pm till 6 am. Eliza also wakes around 6 am, so sleeping past then is pretty rare. Because she won’t take bottles, especially at night, there is really no way around her schedule. She would prefer to cluster feed from 6 or 7 pm until her bed time, but we’ve found that Kevin can get her to chill out and not eat by keeping her in a carrier and walking around, so I can catch a nap up front. This allows me to get a 2-3 hour nap, and then I can usually get her down for a three hour stretch (sometimes more! Sometimes less.), so I’m averaging probably four to five hours of broken sleep every night. This is … untenable. But! She IS a good sleeper. She’s done a couple of really long stretches – a six, a seven (!!!), they just aren’t at useful times for ME, yet. But someday they will be. And it could be so, so much worse.

Also in the super awesome developments category: she will sleep in her bassinet for at least a few hours at night! Swaddled. She seems like she’ll be a tension decreaser, based on a handful of times she was yapping and passed out before I could get her (ah, poor second child). And lastly, maybe most importantly, this kid is SO HAPPY. She smiles so easily! We had to work hard for Eliza’s smiles. This kiddo just grins all the time. Sometimes we can even coax a grin when she’s pissed, which is pretty hilarious. She giggles already too! It’s the best.

The no bottles thing is pretty insane, given that Eliza was the polar opposite. It’s making work challenging. (I started back about two weeks ago, at 24 hrs/week.) I have only been going in for about four hours at a time, because she won’t eat much when I’m gone, and she makes up for it later by cluster feeding. Also, I go in the mornings when she is easiest to feed, but when I have more milk. So I pump ~4 oz and she eats ~1 oz. This is great that I’m building a freezer stock – I’d have killed for that with E! – but, well, not like she’ll drink it. And I wouldn’t say I have oversupply, so she nurses more on the days I work, trying to get what’s not really there. She’s nursing for 4-6 hours a day, depending. At least it doesn’t really hurt much anymore, eh? I had to cancel a work conference next month, though, because of this. I can’t leave her. So wacky – I left Eliza for a work conference at like 4 weeks. I’m actually glad I did that, because at least my boss knows I’m not just being a crazy helicopter mom. But yeah, if I weren’t part time at work, I don’t really know what I’d do – take more time off? Let her reverse cycle and not sleep? Who knows.

We are doing bottle boot camp, a la Nancy Holtzman, so I’m hopeful this is temporary, but so far no change. Also bottle boot camp effing sucks – Kevin tries to feed her a bottle till she gets angry, then I nurse her and alternate trying a bottle, so each feeding takes more than twice as long and milk gets everywhere and it’s so frustrating. Bah! I keep reminding myself that this is super temporary, and that is helpful! But also makes me feel like I’m counting down her infancy (two months down, ten to go!), which is lame. Really most of the time I’m pretty cool with all of this, but I get frustrated/bummed a couple times a week at being in jail, basically. Other bright sides are how easy it is to go places. I take literally nothing with me, most of the time, except a diaper. Also how fast I got over any embarrassment at nursing in public. Necessity is the mother of not giving a shit! That’s the saying, right?

Anyway, I was calling Hazel a hard baby for a few weeks, there, but I don’t think I can lay claim to that title anymore. The lingering difficultly is mostly situational rather than temperamental. And I feel like a jerk when I say she’s hard now, like I need to footnote the hell out of it. So I guess this post is that footnote. Ok this is long and Hazel is sleeping, so I’m out!

Smiley Hazelnut

My kids (two! kids!) sittin in chairs, thinking they’re people.

Posted in little bears, Me me me | 6 Comments

Let’s go to the movies

Ginger posted a prompt I can manage with one hand. One thumb, if I’m getting technical. Hazel is keeping me awake all night, so: my ten favorite movies of all time! In no particular order! With incoherent babbling!

1. 10 Things I Hate About You. Pretty sure this is my number one movie of all time. My only beef is that Kat would have written a waaaay better poem, I mean come on.

2. Amelie. This movie reminds me viscerally of an era of my life. My high school boyfriend saw it in France, then bought it for me. I made everyone watch it, because I loved it, and also because I thought it made me interesting, that I loved it.

3. Donnie Darko. This is another movie that makes me nostalgic – for college, here. Watched this so many times! I remember when we watched the writer/director commentary and discovered there wasn’t deep meaning to the movie, that they just thought the various plot points seemed cool.

4. Dirty Dancing. What, like you don’t watch this every time it comes on. And day dream about being Baby.

5. Up. Delightful, and sad.

6. Easy A. I love Emma Stone, but more than that I love the parents. They are HYSTERICAL.

7. Mallrats and 8. Chasing Amy. My favorites of the Silent Bob movies. Hilarious and good.

9. Center Stage. I’m the best goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy, who the hell are you?

10. Multiplicity. This movie is one giant in joke for Kevin and me.

Posted in ephemera | 3 Comments

One Month In

So we made it through a month (and a day), and we are all still happy and alive. Well, mostly. Eliza is a little peeved, at times, but who can blame her? And Hazel can’t really smile yet, but if she could, I bet she would.
Hazel is, of course, still a mysterious newborn for the most part. Kevin and I like to make conjectures about her personality, but it’s all guesswork and projection. What we know so far boils down to this: she is a harder baby than her sister. She wants to be held all the time – which is equal parts delightful and challenging. She has to be enticed into sleeping. She won’t take a bottle without a fight, and you can’t fight hard enough to get her to drink formula. She will barf all over you the second you let your guard (burp cloth) down. She also makes the sweetest cooing noises, and snuggles into you in a way that makes you want to sit on the couch and stare at her for hours.
Why the butt groove on the sofa has gotten pretty pronounced
Why the butt groove on the sofa has gotten pretty pronounced
I feel more attached to her than I did to Eliza at this point. Am I allowed to say that? Is that one of those things my kid will read in twenty years and hate me for (as I narcissistically assume my kid will give two shits what I wrote on my weblog at the beginning of the century)? Well, it’s true. There are rational explanations for this – Eliza wouldn’t or couldn’t nurse, so I spent far more time with my breast pump than I did with her. Eliza preferred to be put down to sleep, both at night and during the day. Eliza was very mild from day one – she fussed a bit in the evenings, but would quiet down immediately if you walked her around a little, or swaddled her nice and tight.
Hazel requires more… finesse. She seems to have a calm and sweet temperament, but is perhaps a little less laid back (if I may make such claims about a one month old’s personality). She cries more, and with more urgency. She needs to be held and jiggled just so. She really doesn’t want us to sit down or stop walking. She wants to nurse and nurse and nurse but can’t keep the milk down, and seems distressed and uncomfortable until it comes back up (invariably right down my shirt, moments after the burp cloth shifted out of the way).
Keep walking, mom!
I will barf on you.
I’m actually thinking she might have reflux, since a lot of her fussiness etc. wasn’t evident from the get go. At first, she was utterly calm and didn’t really cry at all, though she certainly preferred to sleep on me rather than in a crib. She started getting fussier and spitting up more and wanting to be held upright more around two weeks, and it’s progressed. I think. It’s hard to say. I got a zantac Rx for her last week, but I don’t think it is helping much – though again, it’s hard to say because it’s hard to get her to take the medicine consistently (she haaaaates it). Our pediatrician was skeptical, because she is gaining weight fine, but let us try the medicine. I might ask to switch to prevacid when we go in for her one month appointment this week. I keep talking myself into and out of thinking it’s reflux, versus her just being a normal baby. (Eliza was emphatically not normal, in terms of how easy she was, a fact we were aware of all along and take no credit for – but her being abnormally easy doesn’t mean we know what normal is like.)
That aside, we are enjoying our embiggened family quite a bit. Eliza seems to be adjusting fairly well – she likes to “be nice” to her baby sister (pet her head) and point out all her little parts (“head? arm? piggies?”), and she also likes to whine like nobody’s business the second I start nursing the baby. So I’d say that’s about par for the course for a toddler. I have ALL the respect for people who can manage a newborn and a toddler all by their lonesome – I had family around helping run interference till less than a week ago, and I would have lost my mind without them. I mean, what do you do when the toddler charges you while you’re nursing the relatively fragile newborn? (Answer: push her over. Gently. Ish.)
Missed a spot, Mom.
Missed a spot, Mom.
I have more to say, but no time to say it.
We went to Seattle last weekend for a frisbee tournament, and it was great. I wish I could have played more, but my ankle is still pretty hosed and Hazel and Eliza were hard to wrangle in a giant field in the hot sun.
Nursing is going so, so much better this time around. I have a lot of thoughts on that, likely of no importance to anyone but past and future me.
I have thoughts about maternity leave – having one, this go round, and the ways that’s easier AND harder.
And oh goodness, exercise and baby weight and cookies. Yep. Maybe I’ll have time soon. I miss you, internet.
Posted in little bears, Me me me | 18 Comments

40 weeks

Oh hey, due date, what’s up?

So as I mentioned, I ended up having my membranes stripped twice more, Monday and Tuesday. While it didn’t work as it did with Eliza (sending me into labor within 12 hours), each round did result in some stronger contractions. They never became regular or close together enough to make me consider heading to L&D, but they were doing something – I went from a 1 to a 2 to a 3 by Tuesday. My mom went with me on Monday’s, and I made Kevin go on Tuesday because I wanted credit for my suffering (I usually don’t have Kevin come to my appointments because they take forever, and also because he hates seeing me in pain, but dammit, THREE TIMES), and both were fully convinced I would go into labor once they saw the procedure, but I was pretty pessimistic. My doc told me I was on the schedule to get induced on Wednesday but would probably get bumped to Thursday, so I settled in to wait.

Wednesday I called the hospital a couple times just to see where I was in the line and how busy things were, and it started to sound like things were crazy enough that I might continue getting bumped into the weekend. I wasn’t psyched about that, so I called my doc to get clarification, expecting him to call me back the next day since it was 8 or 9 pm already. Well he called right back and said that the nurses were being jerks and that I should just come in and say my contractions had picked up, he would check me and get me admitted and we could induce then. I was like…. whaaaat? NOW? LIE? And he said yep so off we went.
We got to L&D around 10:30, after getting our nanny to come over and hold down the fort, and they put me in an exam room on monitors. A nurse checked me and I was still at a 3, and she said I had an hour or so to show some cervical change. My contractions were pretty regular, but only every ten minutes and not that painful, so I was not hopeful. BUT my doc had said he’d figure it out. WELL. Instead, a gazillion women went into legit labor and they didn’t have room to deal with me, so my doc had to send me home. That was at 1:00 am, and I was NOT PLEASED. Because that had made me miss my best sleeping window (9 – 1!) and I was SO TIRED from sleeping poorly for days and waaah. We went home and I rage ate some cereal and then tried to go to sleep (read: laid there, plotting Kevin’s death as he snored quietly next to me).
THEN I WENT INTO LABOR ALL BY MYSELF! At 3, the contractions picked up like crazy and suddenly I was lowing like an insane cow through them and after an hour of that I was like OH WAIT am I in labor? MAYBE? I went and rolled around on the living room floor for a while, timing things and keening, thinking about how I damn well wasn’t going to get sent home from L&D twice in less than 12 hours. Eventually I decided we should go in, because wow it hurt a lot, and I didn’t want to have a lobby baby like Jonna or Erica, even though I wasn’t sure because the contractions were still only every 5 minutes. But off we went AGAIN.
Got there around 5:30, right before the shift change – so the same nurse put me in the same exam room. I would have been embarrassed, but she looked at me and immediately apologized for sending me home and she was so nice and it wasn’t her fault and whatever. I mean, I wasn’t in labor! It wasn’t her fault. She admitted me immediately, after watching me have a contraction, and then did another check – I was up to 4-5 cm. Over the next couple hours, I got moved into a birthing suite, hooked back up to monitors, got my IV placed, and asked for some pain relief. They came and did another cervix check around 7:30, pronounced me an even 5, and gave me a shot of fentanyl. I was hoping I’d be able to sleep a bit with that, as I hadn’t gotten any sleep to speak of since Monday. It helped a lot at first, and I was hopeful, but within 15 – 20 minutes it had cleared enough that there was no chance in hell of me sleeping. I decided I wasn’t progressing fast enough that I’d be able to make it without an epidural, and I was worried about deciding I wanted one and the anesthesiologists being too busy to get there soon enough (did I mention L&D was SUPER busy?). SO, I threw in towel and asked for an epidural. Maybe next time!
The anesthesiologist came and placed the epidural around 8:15, and I was at a 6 then. My doc broke my water at 8:45, and I was at a 7. I napped for about an hour, and when I woke up, we started telling our moms to get there around 10:30, figuring that would be plenty of time. They were moseying into the hospital as the nurse was checking me at 10:30, and we discovered I was almost fully dilated – just a small lip. Also our nurse noted that the baby’s heart rate was decelerating during contractions, which is quite normal, but does mean that the baby needs to go ahead and come out, rather than languishing much longer. She worked on getting the remaining bit of cervix out of the way and called the doc and started getting the room ready to go.
Our moms were kind of putzing around, chatting, playing with their cameras, and seemed oblivious to the sudden frenzy of activity from the nurses. I finally had to kind of snap at them to get back behind the bed and get their cameras and stay out of the way, because I don’t think they realized I was about to deliver.
Dr. O arrived around 10:50 or so, and I pushed for about 15 minutes and then there she was. Just like with Eliza, the doctor had me pull her out with the last push – this time though, I got to see and announce that the baby was a girl. She got 9s on her Apgars, though I personally thought she was rather quiet and laid back about the entire getting borned process (but hey, I’m not that kind of doctor, so in the end, what do I know?). I held her on my chest for awhile – our nurse Dory said I could keep here there as long as I wanted and she could do all the weighing and measuring and washing up afterwards. So we sat and looked at each other while the doc finished up with my bits (no stitches! Hooray for that smallish-but-yes,-totally-normal head!). Kevin and I decided she looked like a Hazel, so that was that. I celebrated with a giant Reese’s blizzard, and it was the best ever.
Hazel nursed for a couple hours straight right off the bat, and then passed out hard for most of the next 24 hours. She slept straight through meeting her grandparents and her sister. Eliza was pretty excited (though I still don’t think she knew – knows! – what is going on), and mostly wanted to show us where Hazel’s eyes and mouth and nose were. By jabbing them. But it was very cute, and the picture my mother in law took makes it look even cuter than it was in real life, probably.
We stayed that night in the hospital, quickly remembering all the newborn stuff we’d forgotten. Like how they spit up in the middle of the night, and it’s completely terrifying? And how you’re not sure whether you should wake them up to make them eat? And how annoying it is when people come in to take your vitals every seven minutes? No actually, that bit was better this time around – I think because they were so busy, they had to be way more efficient, so they were only bugging us every 3-5 hours. I got sort of decent sleep! Which is good because not so much since then.
So, then we came home, and everything has been mostly lovely. Eliza is entertained for now by her grandparents and activities and so far hasn’t freaked out about the baby. My boobs seem to be working this go round, which is a whole nother can of worms (a surprising can, given last time‘s struggle). Hazel is very snugly and not that great at sleeping anywhere but on me, which is delightful and terrible. I figure it won’t be long before it changes, though, so I’m enjoying it while it lasts. 40 weeks
Posted in gestating, little bears, Me me me | 9 Comments

Calm before the storm (I’m doin it wrong)

Family all arrived on Thursday and Friday, and we’ve been hanging out, enjoying the relative calm before the storm this weekend. I had my membranes stripped on Thursday, which (obviously) did not work this time around – resulted in some irregular and marginally more painful contractions, but nothing exciting. I was only half bummed out – I would have liked to get this show on the road without needing to be legitimately induced, but my parents weren’t here yet, and it felt rushed, and and and.

My parents arrived on Friday – as I was driving home from work, I actually saw them pull into the RV park. I followed them in and surprised/scared the crap out of them. My dad didn’t even recognize me, as I sat waving at him like a loon from my car – he figured his giant RV was just in my way. I got out of the car and moseyed into the RV to greet my mom, and startled her as she was heading to the bathroom. It was funny and I’m glad I stopped. Also because I noticed they have a pool there! We headed back over with Eliza a few hours later, and she played in the pool a little bit, but much preferred the hot tub.

Saturday I was knocking out a bunch of errands and chores – mowing the lawn, cleaning house a bit, picking up my belated birthday cake (hmpf!) – and right after I finished the last chore, I decided we should set up the baby pool and the sprinkler and lounge around in the backyard while Bear played and entertained us. I was in the middle of this, baby be-sunscreened, setting up a seating area – when I stepped just wrong and rolled the HELL out of my ankle. Went down like a ton of bricks, scaring the pants off my poor mother in law – and it took me probably a few minutes of crying and swearing on the ground before I managed to tell her it was just my ankle, nothing to do with the baby. After the initial chaos, I propped it up on a lawn chair and tried to calm down so I could figure out what to do next. Ultimately decided to go to the ER, because it hurt more than any rolled ankle I’d ever managed, and there was no way in hell I’d be able to bear weight on it at all. I had to calmly call over the fence to my 7 year old neighbor to get her dad to help me, and between him and my dad, we got me into the back of a car and off we went. This totally wasn’t on my to do list.

We were at the ER for a little over two hours, determined it wasn’t broken, and I was sent off with an air splint and some crutches and a nice sense of impending doom. I hadn’t hit my abdomen at all on the way down, and the baby was bouncing around happily, so we weren’t worried about that at all. Suddenly, instead of wanting to kick start labor, I was terrified of going into labor, because USELESS LEG. With Eliza, I spent HOURS walking the halls of L&D, and the whole pushing the baby out process did involve some degree of functionality in my legs/ankles, even with an epidural. How exactly is this going to work now? And then, once the baby is here, I won’t be able to do anything except lay there and have him/her handed to me. No carrying it, no getting myself a glass of water, no taking my self to the damn bathroom (every four minutes, because remember how that works?). AHHHH. Also, it is hilarious trying to affix my ankle brace to my foot, since I have to maneuver around my giant belly and can barely reach the damn thing. Also also, I’m supposed to follow up with my GP or appropriate doctor “early this week” which haaaa, yeah I’ll be busy having a baby, oh shit. So, right, sense of impending doom.

Well, Saturday evening and Sunday were spent sitting still about as much as possible and getting a head start on warming up to letting people help me (I was terrible at that after E was born and I think that contributed to how long it took me to heal). Last night I was magically able to start bearing just a little bit of weight on my foot, and this morning I can hobble around slowly with just one crutch, so maybe this isn’t the end of the world. (It isn’t, I know, it could be worse and I have plenty of people around to help me. BUT COME ON.)

Obviously, life goes on regardless. I have an OB appointment this afternoon to try membrane stripping again, and we will schedule an induction for last this week in case it doesn’t work. (I don’t think it will work: I’ve been feeling positively UN-labory this past week, more so than the two preceding weeks, even. I think the baby decided it wants to stay put. WELL TOO BAD, BABY!)

So that’s what’s happening around here – a nice mix of boring and exciting! Now with cake! (Delicious, delicious cake.)

I had to eat a slice of cake post-ankle, pre-picture, because Happy Everything? Bite me.


Posted in gestating, Me me me | 12 Comments

State of the Incubator: 38 weeks

Wow, so I’m super pregnant, y’all. Yep. All our parents are circling our fair state in their RVs, set to descend on us Friday or thereabouts. Because of the umbilical cord issue, my doc said he will induce me at 39 weeks, which is a week from yesterday, oh sweet ham. It’s not officially scheduled or anything, so I’m sure it could be a few days after that … presumably I will find out more today at my OB appointment.

Baby’s Size: WELL, this has been a recent source of drama. I get growth ultrasounds weekly now because of the umbilical cord issue, and at my 36 and 37w scans, the tech first mentioned the baby had a small head (“about 10%”) and then the next week, wouldn’t tell me the head size and scheduled me for an appointment with the perinatologist. That freaked me right out – especially that it sounded like it was getting worse over time, and I didn’t get to talk to my OB afterwards, so yeah that was a super fun day. Between my designated pregnancy googler and a conversation with my OB the following day, I was eventually convinced that it was probably no big deal: late term ultrasounds, and especially head measurements, are notoriously terrible, AND if the head were alarmingly small (i.e. microcephaly), that would have shown up way, way sooner in the pregnancy – certainly by 20 weeks. Yesterday I had my follow up at the perinatologist, and the doctor pronounced my baby to be boring and average. Everything but the head is measuring around 40-50%. The head is a still sort of alarming 3%, but the doctor assured me I should not worry, and perhaps might even tend toward rejoicing, because labor will be more pleasant this way. He explained thoroughly with lots of science, and gave me all my data, and also pointed out politely that I myself do not have a particularly impressive noggin, and la di da, I am much less worried about it now. SO, the baby is running 43% overall, with a weight estimate of about 6 lb, 14 oz (+/- 1 lb, so, unreliable!).

Sleep: Has been… better… sort of? I know I’m generally in better shape right now than I was at the same point with Eliza, presumably because I’m better rested (and maybe also in better physical shape?). I’ve been taking a nap or at least laying down for an hour or two almost every afternoon, and that is helping a LOT. (Thank you new part time work schedule!) Kevin has been a saint, letting me lounge on the couch to my heart’s content, take naps whenever I want, and generally not do anything except incubate. While I wouldn’t say I’m super comfortable and incredibly well rested or anything, I do not feel desperate and hysterical and insane, which is basically how I felt from 37 weeks on last time around. Though last night was terrible and I was awake till 2 and up at 5 and well, let’s just hope I don’t go into labor at least till I get a nap.

Food: Watermelon, pickles, and frozen pizza. Other food, go home, you are gross.

Movement: Still pretty active, though I can tell the kiddo is running out of space.

Exercise: Done-zo. I went last week and that was fine, and then Saturday I sustained a tragic chafing injury while walking really effing slowly, and hell if I’m letting that happen again. It was fun while it lasted, until it was really, really not fun. Ahem.

As far as preparing our lives for the kid, we finally made a list of things we should do before the baby comes. Uh, we made the list yesterday. Oh, and I packed a half-assed bag for the hospital last week after an eight hour stretch of time-able contractions (that obviously turned into nothing). Mostly we are cleaning up the house a little (that’s actually for our parents, so they won’t be put off by our squalor), and not much else.


36, 37, 38 weeks. I used science* to determine that in this week’s picture I am now slightly larger, and the baby has dropped a little.

*Visual comparison and wishful thinking

Posted in gestating, Me me me | 9 Comments

Loose Ends: lots of words about mostly nothing

Ok, first up, giveaway winner! I was going to make Eliza draw a name out of a hat, but too many people commented (I know, woe is me) and I didn’t want to write that many things down, and E probably would have just eaten the paper anyways. SO, I used a random number generator, and entered everyone except me, my mom, and duplicate commenters (so, I entered y’all, Kathleen and K, even though you were late! But you didn’t win. I’m sorry!) And, drumroll etc., the winner is: Anne! Hooray! Confetti and balloons! I will mail it soon. I swear. I need to mail things. It will happen. Also my mom is visiting soon, so if I’m too much of a slacker, she will help me.

(She’ll HELP me, as if driving myself to the post office is such a difficult endeavor, my god Susie, you are a ridiculous facsimile of an adult.)

I had a lame –> mundane –> lovely birthday weekend: On Friday, we attended a work picnic for Kevin’s group. This was the most fun I have had at one of those, as I finally know enough people in his group to chit chat, rather than sitting uncomfortably or pushing E in the swing all by myself for two hours. Work things are one of my social kryptonites, as I’m sort of terrible at busting into conversation with people I don’t know well. But this time: I have one actual, legit FRIEND in his group, and enough acquaintances to have a decent time. Until, that is, my child decided to take a long walk off a short plank: girlfriend scootched her butt right off an open part of the playground structure, from a height of about five feet.

She has NEVER shown any interest in those parts of the play structures – she looks at them, then moves cautiously past them to the slides. But not this time! She fell – in slow motion, naturally – and (thank god) landed without hitting her head or otherwise injuring herself, but damn if she didn’t scare the hell out of herself and myself and Kevin and (gah) all of his watching coworkers. We were too far away to stop her or catch her, of course. Our playground approach has been to let her do her thing while we lounge on the periphery, and I generally think that’s a good thing. I know kids just fall off shit, they hurt themselves, it’s part of learning about risk and it’s even good for them. But holy hell, she was thisclose to hitting her head on a giant metal thing, and easily could have landed wrong and broken god knows what, and just wow, you know? Luck. It is all that separates any of us from certain doom. But lucky we were, and she is totally fine.

Saturday was mundane – I’m still getting over bronchitis so mostly took it easy. Read mah books (Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy, why you not finished yet??), mowed the grass, watched some Dr. Who. Whined about my random aches and pains – I stretched a muscle in my jaw (at least I think that’s what it is), but I did it so badly, and the nerves in that area are so jangly, that I was convinced for most of the weekend that I was dying of a face tumor. I said – OUT LOUD – on Sunday that I was seriously bummed it wasn’t Monday, and the dentist wasn’t open. What? I abhor the dentist. Anyway it’s a bit better now and I am reasonably sure it’s just an angry muscle, so life goes on sans face tumor.

Sunday things turned lovely – a nice trip to the playground, where my kid proved she is not emotionally scarred from Friday’s tumble, and climbed all over the playground no problem. An excellent nap. Made oobleck with my six year old neighbor, which made me feel like Fun Mom for a day, even if it wasn’t my kid. Had her and her parents over for a delicious dinner, only to realize it’s our third weekend dinner in a row with them – Operation: Befriend Neighbors is suddenly going really well.

As I told Kevin, it continues to be my birthday until he produces the cake I have been asking for since like February, and based on his efforts so far, it’s looking like it’ll be my birthday until June or so. In his defense, the bakery it comes from is run by a 95 year old woman who: hates everyone, has never once answered the phone (so you have to go in person to order), keeps odd hours, takes only cash, and is generally difficult. BUT COME ON, I warned him! So whatever, back rubs, reduced chore contributions, and passive aggressive behavior are on the docket until my cake appears. I am such a peach!

Posted in ephemera, Me me me, Miss Bear, you you you | 9 Comments

Happy birthday to MEEEE! Here is a present.

You guys! It is my birthday. I KNOW. The only thing I want for my birthday is to not have the baby, because I hate sharing. Ok, also because it’d be a month early and that would be terrible for a variety of reasons, but I really do hate sharing. Except with Erica, obviously (happy birthday Erica!) – it’s awesome to have a birthday twin, as long as it isn’t a family member, or your boss or something. For me, I mean. Maybe you aren’t as selfish as I am, I don’t know. Wait though, I’m going to do something un-selfish for my birthday! Just wait a minute while I do some self-centered rambling. Or scroll down, I’m not your mom.

Ok so there are some other things I want for my birthday: this delicious cake from a local bakery that I’m PRET-ty sure my husband is getting, because I asked for it like NINETEEN TIMES, and then also a massage because in case you forgot, I’m rull pregnant over here, and it kind of hurts. Well, I scored big because my bro/SIL/niece/nephew got me a prenatal massage, and I think my husband is getting me one tooooo, and so everything’s coming up SUSIE.

It’s not all about me, though. Nope. This year, instead of declaring May “Susie’s Birthday Month” and making Kevin do All The Chores while I recline on the couch, I have continued to contribute normally to my household (real talk: I do ~25% of The Things, and Kevin does the rest because he is a saint). Ok, except for the days when I was too sick with this godawful bronchitis business, but that wasn’t like, a TREAT for me or anything.

ALSO, I’m doing a GIVEAWAY. Here is the deal: for Christmas, my MIL got me a lovely necklace that I love:


Reasons this necklace is awesome: This is the only song I know enough of the words to that I can sing it to Eliza; it’s neither gold nor silver so I feel like I can wear it with anything; because of it’s construction, the clasp doesn’t slide down to the front; It’s CUTE.

The necklace is from this etsy seller, who has lots of adorable things but is also on vacation. When my MIL bought originally it, she was sent two by mistake, and because the seller is AWESOME, she said to just keep the spare. I would like to pass along the nice gesture, and give someone a present for my birthday. Except I am really terrible about shipping things, so it’s unlikely I will mail it in a timely manner, sorry I’m not sorry.

SO: if you would like a pretty necklace, leave me a comment saying so. Um, by tonight I guess? Midnight PST? Yeah. And then I will pick a winner, somehow or another. And then, SOMEDAY, I will mail someone a necklace! Wheee!

Ok that’s all. Have a lovely mybirthday!

Posted in Me me me, you you you | 41 Comments